this weakness of mine

if there's anything i learnt about myself in these 21 years of mine, it is that i am a lot more emotionally vulnerable than i let myself appear to be. i am weak in this sense and more often than not, i let my feelings inhabit me and even sometimes take full control of my being very much like how Grandmother Willow teaches you to follow your heart.

i guess it isn't all that bad, as sometimes it does work to my advantage as i convert these feelings into more productive outcomes.
like converting my stress into work.
converting my gratitude into charity.
converting my love into sacrifices.

however, more often than not, i am so overwhelmed with emotions that i lose grip of myself and fall over the edge into a deep canyon way down below.

i suppose it is rather difficult for me when i find myself facing another with a completely different set of emotions. or maybe it's my naiveness towards the works of the world, and this makes me very prone to hurts and lies.

but what is happiness if there is no sadness?
what is happiness if there is no anger?

and maybe that's why overall, i REALLY do believe that i AM a happy and cheerful person, simply based on logic.

i'm so vulnerable to any sort of emotions that i've had my fair share of sadness and anger. i go all out in feeling angry and this definitely applies also when i'm sad.
but when i'm feeling neither of these two, i have nothing to worry about and nothing to bug my mind! hence, i am vulnerable to the best, most positive emotion in the world which is happiness!
and considering i go all out with my emotions, be it bad or good, this only proves to makes me a very very happy person!

so i suppose being emotionally vulnerable isn't all that bad. it may possibly make me the saddest at times but it also definitely makes me the happiest at others! although i'm not quite sure if this is enough to scratch it off as a weakness.. :/

and on a whole different note, i was catching up with american idol season 9 when a contestant sang one of the most meaningful songs of all time. suitable enough for today's topic, this is what i shall leave you all with. :)
i know i definitely need to learn a thing or two from this song :)

"Smile"

Smile, though your heart is aching
Smile, even though it's breaking
When there are clouds in the sky
You'll get by...

If you smile
With your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just...

Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear may be ever so near
That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just...

Smile, though your heart is aching
Smile, even though it's breaking
When there are clouds in the sky
You'll get by...

If you smile
Through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile...

That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile